Happiness seems like this elusive concept that everyone is rushing eagerly to embrace. However, so few people seem to know what it means to be happy. Is it making the most of happy moments between the mundane and the must-do? Is it positive thinking and getting tough when the tough gets going? Or is it mansions, cars, clothes, yachts, and private jets that create happiness? Or could it be that happiness is something far more attainable when you finally decide you want to be happy?
No one is happy all the time. While happiness is a state of being, there will always be situations that are challenging or incite emotions of anger or sadness. It is your day in and day out approach to each conversation, situation, event, and even your routine that determine if you embrace a happy life.
The Desire to be Happy
To achieve happiness, you must first want to be happy. This might seem like a silly notion, after all, is there anyone that doesn’t want to be happy? If asked directly, most people would say, “Yes, of course, I want to be happy!” But few people will do the work to claim it.
Yes, happiness takes work. The work is what The Happy Life Agenda is all about.
Happiness is not something that will fall from the sky and instantly make you happy.
Happiness is not winning the lottery or being the first NFL draft pick.
Happiness is not the right job. Happiness is not owning a yacht, a fancy car, or a mansion.
Happiness is not getting married, having a baby, or buying a house.
While the people in your life are a fundamental part of happiness, all the other “stuff” is not.
So, ask yourself, am I willing to look inside myself and have honest, transparent conversations about who I am, why God put me on this earth, and my attitude toward my very existence?
The is a lot of looking in the mirror that must happen here.
You must stop being a victim of your life. Stop blaming everyone and everything around you for why you are not happy.
Let Go of judgement
If you subscribe to The Happy Life Agenda, you will hear a lot of conversations about judgement.
You cannot have happiness when you hold on to judgement.
What others choose to do with their lives is, quite frankly, none of your business. If your paths cross you might discover that there is more to how and why that person lives or acts as they do. Regardless, much like you, they are only human and trying to figure out this life just like everyone else.
What this will do for you is quite freeing because generally how you are judging others is exactly how you perceive others are judging you.
Sadly, judgement will inevitably exist throughout your lifetime, but when you stop judging others, you also stop allowing other to judge you. After all, no one should have that much power over anyone. If you know you are doing your best work and your meeting resistance rather than support—it’s time to move on to other people or places, where your best work is appreciated and embraced.
This is key to happiness.
God is Judge
You are an Artist
If you were born, you have an identity that was assigned a purpose. Remember, God doesn’t make mistakes.
When you can express your truest self, your inner artist shines.
I’m not talking about the traditional definitions of an artist, though those may be included too. I’m talking about the very purpose of your being—when you do this thing you feel alive.
For example, I love writing. Getting lost in putting my thoughts on paper is my favorite thing. However, my stories, my words don’t flow on the page when I hide behind the walls I built around myself or stifle interaction with other humans.
On this journey, I discovered that I was a very closed off, walled up being. I told myself that my creativity had left me and that I needed to find something else to do. Turns out, I needed to invite people back into my life, show them who I really am and have some really hard, really honest conversations.
It’s been a bit uncomfortable and there is still a lot of discomfort ahead. Yet, for all the challenges, for all the “painful” moments, I have uncovered so much creativity, happiness and thirst for each day. I have deepened precious relationships, I have met incredible new people—more lies ahead and I am certain it is greater than I can imagine. You see writing is the gift God gave me to use as a vehicle for my purpose.
Back to your inner artist.
What do you love to do? What is your gift?
I have observed that many women cannot answer this question. In many cases, women become wives, mothers, or career aficionados and lose sight of their own passions to support those of others.
If you feel scared, anxious, frustrated or enraged by these questions, then your step one is start knocking down some walls.
Journal. Prompt journals help a lot if you don’t know what to write. You will discover yourself in the pages and be amazed by your growth. P.S. You don’t have to be a writer—the only person that will see the journal is you.
Remember. Think back to when you were a child or young adult—what did you do in your free time? What did you dream of becoming or doing with your life? Generally, this where you can start to find the biggest pieces of your gift, self-identity and purpose.
Meditate. How can you hear messages from The Divine if you don’t be still and listen. No matter what higher being you believe in, daily meditation and stillness with that being are key to wholeness and happiness. I’m talking no thoughts. Just empty headspace for listening. (If you’re a skeptic due to prior beliefs, check out Joshua 1:8 in the Bible.) The real sin is not hearing your purpose, knowing your gift and using it.
Connect. Tell someone what you learned, what you heard, what you’re doing. Don’t be shy. You will be amazed at how sharing this experience will unlock so many doors and show you exactly who you are and why you are here.
The Happy Life Agenda is committed to community because it is through connections and honest conversations that you can unravel these treasures about yourself that have been hiding for far too long.
If you already know your gift and/or what you want do, congrats! You can build from there—your journaling, meditations, and connections will help reveal how you will use your gift for your purpose.
Uncover Your Inner Artist
These are just some thoughts to help you connect the dots to what you love.
Happiness to Have and to Hold
Happiness is about wholeness. I’m not there yet, but I am having more happy days and happy moments than ever in my adult life.
Part of unveiling your true self, finding your purpose, and living happy is also about tackling those emotions that hold you back: anxiety, depression, envy, frustration, self-righteous anger—just to name a few.
These emotions fester in your body and can rob you of not only a happy life but a healthy life. Anxiety tops the list. It is a central condition of stress and an “always-on” society. This is why The Happy Life Agenda created an entire series on anxiety. Many times, people who experience intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and need for control do not realize that these are characteristics of anxiety.
You will also want to examine the people, habits, and places in your life. As you embark on this journey, you will find that your job, certain habits or activities, and even some of the people in your life, will not quite align with the new you.
Get excited. Your happiness is here—you just have to claim it.
Still Stuck?
Start having conversations with people around you but be aware of your own resistance and resistance from people. If you keep making excuses and aren’t willing to put yourself out there—happiness is going to be hard to hold. Remember, this is about you. If you’re not trying and failing, you will never win. Put yourself out there and be courageous.
Put Happiness on Your Agenda--in INK
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