What is A DINK?
If you’re reading this article, you probably know what a “DINK” is, but just in case you haven’t or are a curious passerby: DINK = “double income, no kids.”
A married couple comprised of two people each bringing in a steady income.
Historically, a married couple without kids wore a sort of scarlet letter A.
“When are you having kids?”
“That’s not in our game plan.”
“Oh. Oooh. I’m so sorry.”
“Why? We’re not!”
For decade, centuries perhaps, the “official” order of things was love, marriage, and then a baby carriage. The world at large seemed to scowl at married men and women who chose a path that didn’t include parenthood. The conversation often turned to a lack of fulfillment and belief that life without offspring was a vast empty void.
However, today, not only are fewer couples having children, fewer and fewer people are choosing marriage and family at all. A recent New York Times article posited the question, is this because it is traditional to “shame” child-free people. So many critics call being childless, decadent, frivolous, or empty. The NY Times touts a much more significant reason—one that isn’t too far off from The Happy Life Agenda mission: The United States makes parenting difficult.
Regardless if it is societal shortcomings in the U.S. or just the outlook of a generation, life without children can be just as fulfilling as life with children. Each individual’s path is unique—fulfillment and purpose are not the same for everyone.
What to Say to “Why Aren’t You Having Kids?”
Sarah Caro, a DINK and PR Executive in South Florida, shared in a recent podcast, “Our official party line was ‘we’re having kids in 5 years,’ but soon 5 years turned to 10 and we began to just say, ‘we’re not having kids—and we’re ok with it.’”
She said that at first, she felt like she had to justify her decision with a laundry list of all the things they could do since they don’t have kids—travel on a moment’s notice, sleep in every weekend, and a bevy of other privileges that come with being two functioning adults without children, “I wasn’t helping myself by playing the game of comparison. One choice isn’t better than the other. Like anything else, it is a matter of preference.”
The stigma has seemingly passed, but on the occasion that she still gets the side eye when questioned, she celebrates the fulfillment she gets from her marriage and her ability to support her family and friends that do have children. She pours her extra time and energy into nieces, nephews, and the kids of her close friends.
Advocating for BALANCE
In addition to navigating the complexities of stepping outside the traditional mold of marriage and parenthood, Sarah has climbed the ladder in the world of public relations. Her role is not only crisis management and getting the word out about great people and products, but she advocates for her female colleagues who are managing work and family.
In her position, she can have an objective conversation with a boss that is less than sympathetic to the plight of parenthood without the emotion. At her current organization, O&G Public Relations in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Sarah has fostered a culture that provides part-time opportunities for working moms, remote opportunities, and a support system when home life simply requires more attention than work on a particular day. She says, “We can all be there for each other and cover the load, if someone needs space. It happens to parents and to those of us without kids too. Everyone has a life outside of work.”
The founder of O&G, Barbara Goldberg, started the firm at just 25 years old—finding out very quickly after she embarked on the endeavor that she was pregnant with twins! This experience has allowed her to build a culture in her organization that empowers the individuals and recognizes balance. Tenures are long, turnover is minimal, business is good. Their motto is good people make good news. Sarah is proud to be part of the team.
What's Next for You?
Whether you are navigating the DINK life, looking for your next career move or seeking to lead a fulfilled life, you can get tools, resources and guidance from The Happy Life Agenda. The Clarity Program is designed to help women clearly define what they want, set goals, and build an action plan to start living a happy, fulfilled life! If you are committed to gettting clear on what you want and the path to claim, apply for The Clarity Program today.
