Everyone wants to lose weight—especially in the age of semaglutide, However, is the secret to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight really a daily injection, diet pill or food plan? Or is it something very personal you can do with your mind that makes it all so easy? The answer is “yes” option B. And it won’t cost you a dime.
Somewhere around my senior year of high school, I came to recognize that I had control over my body. I began to understand that if I could hang out with my friends at Wendy’s during lunch, but I didn’t have to eat there. I gave up fast food.
Quickly thereafter, I gave up sodas—no small feat since I do love the taste of an ice-cold Coca-Cola.
I started running sophomore year to make the softball team and even though I left softball in the rearview by junior year, I uncovered a new hobby that again put me in the driver’s seat of my body: running.
Around college, however, I got mixed up in a new addiction: alcohol. It was easy to work hard, play hard in college and I didn’t have too much trouble maintaining my weight because of all the running. After college was a different story.
I moved to New York City and took work hard, play hard to a whole new level. I discovered the venti Starbucks Frappuccino, martinis, and cold, cold weather that was not conducive to running. I gained weight.
The short version of this story is that I would have epiphanies here and there. I would read a book, hear about a new diet trend or supplement and dive in headfirst. I gave all my attention to losing weight. And not like just trying diet and after diet trend—I would research new exercises and food combining and all types of things to see just how legit the diet was and why it worked and what it was doing to my insides. In my mind, I reasoned, if I could become an expert at all things related to weight loss, I would never have to worry about my weight.
Little did I know, there was a lot of truth in that. However, it took years before I became the master because I didn’t give it the right focus—or the right amount of focus—until much later in my life.
Why am I telling you all this?
I just started this happiness journey. I’m 44 years old. Part of that journey is an analysis of the past—looking back not with regret but with understanding and perhaps, awe.
Many of the books and podcasts that have helped coach me in this direction were actually targeting entrepreneurs. While I have had my own business several times in my life, I always thought I was meant to be at a corporation—until I started on this journey, but I digress.
The point is that when I started to look back over my history and all the things that I pursued and gave up over the years, my north star was always “be healthy and fit.” Most people that know me well call it an obsession.
It has been what I focused on and, I will say, maintaining a healthy weight within 5 to 7 pounds of the same number for more than 10 years has been pretty easy for me (the only exception being when I was pregnant, but I lost all the weight—50 pounds—within a year). Anyone who doesn’t know me might think that I have always been thin or that I am “naturally” skinny or that I have “good genes.” While there may be some truth to genetics, I am coming to learn that we are what we focus on—guess what I focused on for more than half my life? Mastering my weight.
Wait. What? How?
Remember when I said that I didn’t just jump on a diet bandwagon and try the diet? I researched it. I read books, I devoured magazines, and studies. I examined how everything I tried made me feel. I put myself in situations—i.e., career choices—that allowed me to become an expert at how food and exercise could work for me in a healthy way. I didn’t want to just be skinny, I wanted to be strong and highly functional.
If my current self could go back in time and tell my younger self what I was on to, I would be in an entirely different place right now. The thing that I could never articulate for the people I tried to help (I was a personal trainer and weight loss specialist for a time), was that it is very personal and while I can guide you—the only person that can change you, is you. I kept trying to box them into what I thought was the secret to health and fitness or into the current trends that were holding weight in science. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot we can learn from some of these trends. However, when you examine the science, there are a few pillars of health you will need to uphold, but the rest is pure mindset and coaching yourself to live in that mindset.
Let me write that again, live in that mindset. I am not talking about positive thinking either.
Positive thinking alone serves frustration and often makes you a doormat—that’s my opinion more on that later.
The Mindset to Achieve Anything
What I didn’t know that I was doing for all those years was teaching my mind to be the master of my body. I would eat foods, and I would record how it made me feel. For a long time, I wrote down everything I ate and my mood and energy for hours afterward until the next meal. I obsessed over the scale and how my clothes fit.
I tried ellipticals, barefoot running, road running, race training, and weights and yoga and Pilates and Orangetheory and cycling and, and . . .
Again, I kept a record of how I looked, how my clothes fit, and how it all made me feel. I began to recognize when I was full and when I was too full. I knew when that last bite sat on my plate staring at me, begging me to take one more taste, if I succumbed, I would regret it. I learned if I skipped too many days of weight training, I would see losses or too many days off cardio would set back my endurance.
One thing I became great at was also learning how to manage my drinking in exchange for more exercise or fewer calories. I truly learned how to master that because I focused on it so hard. I will say, learning to manage my drinking like that was not a great choice and it has come back to haunt me many times over (on this new journey, I’m learning that if I truly want to achieve a goal, I must let go of my vices).
Every time I moved or made a major change in my life, I always made sure to prioritize (i.e., focus on) my nutrition, meal prep, and fitting exercise (resistance + cardio) into my weekly routine. It is non-negotiable. See why some people call me obsessed?
Tools and Tips for Prioritizing a Healthy Body
Today, as a working mom (I’m an executive at a high-growth company), I only have time to work out about 20 minutes, three times per week and then I get at least one one-hour workout in on the weekends (two on occasion). I ”steal” other opportunities for activity when I help my daughter practice her dance routine or run beside her while she rides her bike.
I wake up at 3:30 AM most mornings to accomplish my personal workouts—it is a non-negotiable part of my life. I incorporate at least 10 minutes of cardio with 10 minutes of resistance training of some sort. On the weekends, I add 15 to 20 minutes of yoga or barre.
Every Sunday, I meal prep for myself and my family. If you open my fridge on a Thursday, you will think that I am starving my family (my mother-in-law and some of my friends certainly think that), but I only buy from the grocery store exactly what we need for the week (I usually order groceries on Fridays to arrive Saturday morning). I plan all our meals around our schedules each week and include at least two days of leftovers. Oh, and get this, I’m a terrible cook and I don’t particularly enjoy cooking. In other words, you don’t have to be a top chef to achieve your goals for you and your family.
“My obsession,” has just been a constant practice of asking myself, “what does it take to make being fit and healthy easy for me?” When you read my schedule, you probably think that waking up at 3:30 AM is hard or meal prep every week is impossible. That’s the interesting part—it all happens without too much overwhelm. I am and have been so dedicated to these habits for so many years—it’s just automatic. My brain will start putting the plan in place to accomplish these goals every week without much effort on my part.
Applications for Happiness
Now that I have recognized that I have mastered an autonomic response in my brain for a goal I didn’t really know I set 20+ years ago, I am ready to apply that to my happiness, success, and family.
And I want you to join me too.
What’s on your happy life agenda? Join the eNewsletter and stay tuned for my up-and-coming book series The Happy Life Agenda—where you can experience your happiness journey with a cast of characters working through similar obstacles and uncovering wins along the way.
