Is Fear Keeping You from Happiness?
As another month ticks by and I am still waking up in the same bed, driving the same route, seeing the same people, and trudging to the same job, I feel disheartened.
When I began this journey, I was convinced that pure mindset would change everything—that I could will transformation into existence. Of course, in the back of my mind, I was like, “It can’t be that easy.” And, of course, it is not.
Compassion without Judgement
What this experience is teaching me—and what I hope that sharing can impart upon you—is that the journey isn’t easy. When people experience something profound, they want to share and help others experience it too. However, reciting from the rearview makes it sound all too easy. Therefore, when the stories are told and the experience is shared, the gravity of each moment to reach that place is often lost—especially if the battles are these small, day in and day out frustrations.
I am blessed. My story is not one wrought with trauma. I have often believed that I didn’t have a story to share for this very reason. Now, as I am banging on the door of midlife and asking myself, “why am I here?” I realize that “no story” is often “the problem” many people face. There is no line in the sand or cliffhanger—no moment where you are ravaged by destruction, death, or disease that shakes you to your core and forces you to examine your being or die trying.
And that is my story. Sure, I have experienced things that many people face: Loss of people that I love. Heartache. Heart break. Lost dreams. Bullying. Minor health complications. Fear. Anxiety. Fatigue. . .
All these things affect everyone—with or without major trauma. If there is no line in the sand, how do you wake yourself up?
Happiness without Fear
On the day that I am writing this, I face a day full of meetings and conversations that I know will be very hard. Last night, I went to bed afraid of these conversations. This morning, I meditated and chatted with God.
Fear is keeping me from my happiness.
I can see happiness on the other side of the chasm that I am seeking to cross on this journey. I keep running to the edge, longing for that running jump that will parlay me to the other side. My stomach ties up and knots as I spring headlong to the edge and then I skid to a stop, dirt and pebbles kicking over the edge in a cloud, clanking on the side of the canyon—echoing back my failure once again.
Today, I will leap. I might not make it across, but I will take the leap and grip the other side, clinging to the edge until the next challenge I overcome gives me the strength to pull myself up to safety.
When Expertise Falls Short
Path of Purpose
I will not fear that the people in the room may not like me.
I will not be afraid of getting fired.
I will not be afraid of not getting promoted or a raise.
I will not run.
As God shows me the path of my purpose, I will walk confidently in the direction of my dreams.
Happiness as a State of Being
Happiness isn’t this thing that you have. It is a state of being. That state means you get to be who you truly are without any expectations of how people will react because you know you are living the purpose set for you. Each person’s purpose is grounded in love and compassion for others—and that is how you know it is right.
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